Month: October 2021

My First Infusion

/ Dr. Lee Bryant / 10 Comments

As we left off, I was recovering from my partial right thumb amputation and sentinel node biopsy. And Kellee and I got the great news, in a providential type of moment, that my sentinel lymph nodes were negative for any cancer cells. I was found to have Stage II disease. Considering that my original lesion presented 5 years earlier, it seemed almost miraculous that my metastatic workup was negative. I took the liberty to assume that my age, lack of any other medical problems, healthy diet (no red meat or dairy), and exercise level (training for triathlon) maybe was keeping my immune system strong enough to battle. And now I did not regret my crazy decision to biopsy my own nailbed!

Almost 2 weeks after my surgery, I sought a second Oncology opinion, which is often a wise idea. As a matter of fact, for every single patient to whom I recommend an operation, I offer a second opinion because I want them to feel completely comfortable both with me and their decision. I got the exact same treatment recommendations, so I kept my original team of physicians where my care would be under the same umbrella. Because of the depth of my melanoma and some other histologic factors, such as ulceration and high mitotic activity, it was felt that I would need further therapy to reduce the risk of recurrence. There are new promising drugs, that are called PD-1 receptor blockers, which help restore the T cells of our own immune system, prevent deactivation of our T cells by tumor cells, and thus restore our body’s ability to combat and destroy tumor cells. These drugs are in a class called biologics, and the treatment is a form of chemotherapy called immunotherapy, administered by intravenous infusion.

My First Infusion:

Exactly 3 weeks after my surgery, I was scheduled for my first IV infusion. I would be scheduled for a full year of treatment, with the first 5 treatments being 3 weeks apart, and then the last 5 treatments being 6 weeks apart, as long as I could tolerate the therapy. This type of drug has common side of effects of nausea, fatigue, muscle pain, bone pain, brain fog, and others. More serious side effects include conditions such has liver toxicity, pneumonitis (pulmonary toxicity), renal toxicity, and others. The drug is intended to enhance one’s immune system against tumor cells, but also can cause the body to attack itself. Naturally, there was some anxiety about how well I would tolerate the treatments. A typical infusion day involves a check-in process, going to a lab to have an IV inserted, and having extensive labs drawn. I decided to try being infused with peripheral IVs to avoid a portacath placement if my veins would hold up. After the labs are returned and evaluated, there is an appointment with my Oncologist, after which I head to the IV infusion center for IV saline fluid, followed by my cancer drug infusion, followed my more saline fluids. It is quite the process and somewhat exhausting at times.

My Mistake:

That first infusion day, I had a gap between my Oncology appt and my infusion. Therefore, Kellee and I decided to grab some lunch at the hospital cafeteria, with the IV already in my arm and all covered up by coban wrap. I also happened to be a patient at the academic medical center where I trained as a medical student and resident physician. As we entered the cafeteria, it brought back memories of late dinners alone before a long night on call in the hospital, and memories of early morning coffee and breakfast after operating all night long. It also brought back memories of my nervous stomach and GI distress, memories that were soon to become reality again! I apologize but this is about to get personal! I had been eating so healthy (anti-cancer diet to be explained in another blog), and I thought I may want some comfort food. So, I skipped all the healthy stuff and went straight for the stir fry Asian food…spicy chicken over some fried rice and maybe a fried roll also. After I consumed all of my own plate, I proceeded to eat about half of Kellee’s plate as it was just too much for her. We then checked in at the infusion center. As we entered the private room, one of the nurses asked if I had eaten a light lunch because the infusions can make one very nauseated…bahahahahahaha. I did not have the heart to tell her I was already nauseated, bloated, and flatulent….well before the infusion ever started. Lesson learned! Thank goodness for nausea medication.

My Nurse:

In all seriousness, I want to close this episode sharing about the most wonderful nurse I had. I want to share with you how nurses make such a difference in the lives of patients. I also want to thank all the nurses that have ever worked for me in my office or with me in the hospital, operating room, ER, or surgery centers. I am just going to use her initial “M.” Although we had seen a lot of care providers, it had all been about my workup, diagnosis, prognosis, percentages, and treatment. As a physician turned patient, I soon realized that sometimes we have so much schedule pressure that we do not always embrace the emotional needs of our patients: their anxiety, their fears, their worries about their jobs, their concern for finances and medical bills, their concern about their families, their spiritual health and search for truth, etc. Here I was, a right handed surgeon with an amputated right thumb, currently unable to work, and worried if I would ever work again or when, worried about my family, worried about innumerable issues. So when M came out and called me and Kellee back, she made eye contact, the kind of eye contact that says “I see you and I know you are scared.” She asked, “How are you doing?” as she reached out and tenderly touched my shoulder, in a comforting manner. As we arrived in the infusion room, she asked if this was our first time, and we said yes. She asked a little bit about my story, and heard some of the craziness of my diagnosis, how I biopsied my own thumb, and my career as a surgeon. She connected with me and Kellee, and the first thing she did was to comfort us and tell us everything to expect. I shared some of my faith journey and the wooden cross that I kept in my pocket that had not left my side since it was gifted to me by some of my OR nurses. We talked about God and faith. And then, the most amazing moment happened. She dropped down on her knees between me and Kels. She took Kellee’s hand in her left hand and she placed her right hand on top my bandaged thumb and then proceeded to pray over us, asking God to comfort us and give us peace and strength, and to trust in Him. Tears were being shed! We greatly needed that emotional connection. My infusion then went flawlessly, with the exception of the GI distress which more than likely was related to my overindulgence of stir fry at lunch!!!

Moving forward, I plan to share how I spent my time recovering from surgery, regaining strength, preparing to return to work, and most importantly, how I embraced a new lifestyle with more balance and a deeper relationship with God.

“4:05”

/ Dr. Lee Bryant / 15 Comments

As I rested and recovered from surgery involving partial amputation of my right thumb and sentinel node biopsy for my malignant melanoma, we began the process of waiting for the pathology on the lymph nodes to be resulted. Whether or not they were positive or not would determine my final stage. The status of the two sentinel nodes would affect my staging, prognosis, and treatment. What I am about to reveal is what happened exactly as it unfolded. I have used the term “providential” with others, and you can make your own conclusions. I still get chills down my spine every time I tell this story.

My surgery was on a Wednesday, so we really did not expect any results until the following week. However, 5 days later, on Monday, I began to get very anxious and started checking my email more frequently. As a few days turned into a week, both Kellee and l were getting more anxious for the results by the hour. I began to have difficulty concentrating on anything else and developed some insomnia.  A complete week went by and still nothing. However, on Thursday morning, 8 days after my procedure, Kellee sat straight up in bed, just before 5 am, and woke me from a deep sleep (I believe I had just finally gotten to sleep in the wee hours of the morning with a sore armpit and elevated right upper extremity). She conveyed to me that she had a vivid dream or communication that my test results were revealed at “4:05.”  She never ever mentioned or discussed remembering dreams with me in the past.  Anyway, it was so clear to her that she woke me up and asked me to check my email on my phone, which I did, and there was nothing there. We went back to sleep. Later that day, my son Gray’s fiancée, Molly, called at lunchtime, and asked if “Dr. B’s path results were back.”  Gray and Molly are both fourth year medical students, and Molly called during a lunch break on one of her clerkships. Kellee and I were both in the kitchen, and I heard Kellee specifically tell Molly, “No,” but then explain how she had a vivid dream that morning that my test results came back at “4:05.”  She explained to Molly how she even woke me up to check my phone. Kels and I really did not think anymore about that conversation for a while…..

 Later in the day, at approximately 4:01 or 4:02 pm,  I checked my email (as I has been doing all day), and finally there was an email from the medical center time stamped at  “3:58 pm “ (and still there on my phone today) that I had a new test result on my patient portal.   My heart began to beat faster, and I knew that this likely represented my path results. Kels and I were in the den together, and I asked her to sit down beside me to pray with me.  Next, after our prayer, I opened the portal (not realizing at the time it was 4:05 pm) and clicked on my path results, revealing “sentinel lymph node 1 was negative for tumor and sentinel lymph node 2 was negative for tumor.”  We stopped right there and began crying and praising Jesus. I will be honest with you: I began jumping up and down all over the den and fist pumping liked I had just scored a touchdown! Another answered prayer!

Later in the afternoon, after we had called Molly and Gray with the good news of my path results, Molly remembered her conversation with Kellee, and asked her what time she dreamed the path was revealed.  Chills went up and down both of our spines as we retraced the sequence of events and realized we opened the patient portal likely exactly at “4:05.”  I assure you that this sequence of events unfolded exactly as I have shared them. Please interpret this encounter as you see fit. But through this journey, I have genuinely felt God’s presence in my life, and I assure you that it is 100 percent genuine and not a self-serving, hyper-religious coping mechanism. There will be more providential moments to share, and maybe we all have them…but are just not slowing down enough to listen to them.

Now that my tumor was staged, I could get on with a more definitive treatment plan. We already knew that based on the depth of my tumor and the presence of other features, such as ulceration and high mitotic activity, that I would likely need some more systemic therapy called immunotherapy, but the fact that my tumor was more localized was great news.

That weekend, I reached out to a longtime friend and former head and neck cancer patient of mine who now lives in Texas, Matt Lee.  My words to him by text were exactly as follows: “I felt compelled to reach out to you when I got the news. We are very similar in our world views. And I walked you through your fight with cancer. You and God beat it. He had more Kingdom work for you on earth.”  Matt, formerly a professional golfer and still a scratch golfer, spent a large part of his adult life educating others on the dangers of tobacco use and risk factors for head and neck cancer. He texted back these exact words: “And now it’s my honor to be here for you and you should know I will do what I say. Support, prayers, friendship, whatever you need to win the war.”  And we came up with this plan for cancer: “1. Surviving and thriving for others to be brought closer to Christ (through my victory over cancer) or 2. Battling with such a spiritual demeanor that I am a witness through the battles until I get to go home = my job well done.”

I have pledged to stay the course with this plan. You will soon be caught up to present with my story, which is still being written. It is my hope and prayer that it helps some others battling cancer or other adversity in their lives.

Surgery Day

/ Dr. Lee Bryant / 8 Comments

As we left off, my pre-operative workup was complete for the malignant melanoma under my right thumbnail; Kels and I had contracts on our new home, which would be a downsize, and our current home; and I took a day of rest in preparation for my surgery, pleasantly surprised by a visit from my 3 life-long relatives/friends, Lee Randolph, James Sutton, and Ronnie Carter, who prayed over me in my living room the night before.

My surgery date was exactly 2 weeks after I was operating on my own patients and received the call from my Pathologist between operations, revealing the diagnosis of malignant melanoma. I will say that I am extremely grateful that had I have access to such stellar and speedy healthcare. In under two weeks, I had seen 4 physicians in consultation, undergone plain x-rays, undergone MRI scans of my brain and upper extremity, undergone a whole-body PET/CT scan, and was on the operating room table! Once the diagnosis of malignant melanoma was made, it was hard to keep it out of my mind since it was so readily visible right there on my right hand. I was extremely grateful for my health care providers and was ready to move on with what we surgeons call surgical extirpation of the tumor.

For my surgery day, the plan involved partial amputation of my right thumb, clearing the margins of the tumor, reconstruction of the thumb, and sentinel node biopsy of my lymph nodes, likely being in the region of my right axilla. I was to report to the medical center around 6:30 am to be checked in by 7:00 am in the Nuclear Medicine Department. For the sentinel node biopsy, the Surgical Oncologist would identify and sample the lymph node (or two) that was the most likely to receive any tumor cells if they had spread beyond my primary tumor. The nodes would be removed and evaluated by the Pathologist to see if there had been any microscopic spread of tumor cells that would not have yet been identified on imaging studies. Localization of the sentinel node or nodes involved two aspects: 1. Lymphoscintigraphy in which a radioactive tracer, Technetium-99m, would be injected in and around the tumor prior to surgery so that it would be taken up by the sentinel nodes and could be detected with a gamma counter probe during surgery, and 2. Injection of lymphazurin blue dye around the tumor during surgery which will stain the lymph vessels and lymph nodes blue to help with visualization and mapping.

I did have some topical anesthetic cream to be placed on my thumb to help tolerate the injections of the radiotracer in the Nuclear Medicine department. Either it did not work very well, or I erred in the timing of the placement of it, but those 4 injections in and around my fingernail were painful!  After that, I checked into the pre-operative area for surgery, was prepared for the procedure, kissed Kellee, and was on my way to the operating room. For obvious reasons, I had very little recall of the rest of the day. All the surgeons told Kellee that everything went well, and the Surgical Oncologist felt confident that they were able localize the sentinel lymph nodes, the first representing most of the radioactivity, followed by a second one that had the remainder of the activity. The team felt good about the surgical margins and had to amputate the thumb back to the first joint or knuckle, but preserving enough of it that I would have the ability to use it and oppose other fingers to it.

Over the next few days, I had a large bandage on my right thumb and a healing incision in my right armpit. Basically, I had to adapt to performing activities of daily living all left-handed. I had to eat left-handed, brush my teeth left-handed, and try to bathe myself left-handed. Fortunately, although I am right-hand dominant, I am also ambidextrous to some degree. I naturally have much more upper body strength on my left side, so in my youth I taught myself to play ball with either hand. I played baseball left-handed, but I could hit both ways. I can shoot a basketball with either hand. In my adult life as a surgeon, I typically remove the right tonsil with my right hand and the left tonsil with my left hand. So, I did not find this immediate situation to be very inconvenient.

As I rested and recovered from surgery, we were anxiously awaiting the pathology on the lymph nodes. Whether or not they were positive for cancer cells would determine my final stage. How this information was revealed to us is quite the story, and I will tell it in my next blog.

More Answered Prayer and Ready for Surgery

/ Dr. Lee Bryant / 7 Comments

As we left off, Kellee and I had received some good news about the MRI of my brain that was clear and about the whole-body PET/CT scan which also came back clear. The very next day after the PET scan, I met with yet another surgeon, a Surgical Oncologist, who prepared me for additional surgery that would be needed. In addition to the partial amputation and reconstruction of my right thumb to clear the margins of the malignant melanoma, I would need to undergo a sentinel node biopsy. I will explain more about the details of this part of the procedure later, but the procedure allows the surgeon to determine the lymph nodes to which tumor cells most likely would travel if it spread via the lymphatic system.  Next the most representative of those nodes is removed and sampled to assess for the presence of tumor and to help with staging. I also met with my Medical Oncologist that same day, who was encouraged about my imaging results, but also said that my staging and thus prognosis would be determined more once the pathology of the sentinel node or nodes is back. The very next day I reached back out to my Orthopedic Oncologist, and my surgery was set to be performed the following week, with a team of 3 surgeons. Everyone was ready to go.

Next, Kellee and I were discussing all the possibilities of how to move forward, receiving healthcare, and how to manage our finances if I would be limited in my ability to work or not be able to return to work at all. In our mid-50s, our only debt was really the mortgage on our house. Everyone says not to make major life decisions under duress, but we had talked about downsizing in the past. We had 3 bedrooms and 3 baths upstairs with an additional bonus room….and we hardly ever went up there. So, we were considering a change, but we love our neighborhood with lots of yard space. We went to an open house that night less than 2 miles from our house, but smaller than our house, more of a ranch style. We loved the house and decided to make an offer. The very next day on a Friday, the sellers countered, and we accepted. We had a deal! Another answered prayer! After we got the contract, Kels and I worked until the wee hours of the morning cleaning out our den in preparation to put our house on the market. There was so much uncertainty at this time regarding my health status, work status, and now we had a contract on a house before selling ours. Kels and I were both anxious but trusting in God.

On Saturday morning, we frantically worked on the house all day to get ready to place it on the market. I placed new pine straw in the beds out front and sold several items on Facebook Marketplace. Kellee worked tirelessly cleaning out and staging the house. My daughter Alex, our realtor, and our son-in-law, Brad, came over that evening to help us start the process of listing our house. Time was of the essence, since we had a contract on the new house, and needed to sell ours to make it all work. We had planned to do a lot of painting, book a professional photographer, do professional staging, and have an open house. On a whim, I took a few pictures, and we listed the house that night. Within 24 hours, we had several showings, an offer on the spot, and a contract! Another answered prayer! Over the next few weeks, we began to reflect on how so many things were working out for us. And we began to anticipate a future with less financial liability, less dependency on material things, and more happiness and joy in glorifying God and spending more time with Him rather than the everyday business of life.

So, by this time, I had one day to rest on a Tuesday before my anticipated surgery date on Wednesday, August 4. I had continued my training for my triathlon, even though I knew I would not be able to compete in it.  I needed some rest after a hard cycle workout that morning and a hard swim workout just 2 days before.  But I had a pleasant surprise coming…….

I got a surprise visit from my cousin, Lee Randolph, and two of my closest friends since childhood: Ronnie Carter and James Sutton. Kellee knew they were coming, but I had no idea. I want to share just a little bit about the days of our youth in Goodlettsville, TN, and then share a little bit about that evening. Lee Randolph, along with another Lee with the last name Harris, grew up with me almost like brothers. Our parents took us to Goodlettsville First Baptist Church, taught us to love God, and taught us right from wrong. Now I know that the community in which we grew up in the 70s and 80s was a much different time and place than now, but we grew up with little to no rules, at least for me personally, and freedom to learn from our mistakes (lots of them). Lee Randolph and I spent many hours together working and playing on my parent’s farm. We imagined ourselves as cowboys around 9 and 10 years old, except that we rode real horses and shot real pellet guns. We rode 4 wheelers, mopeds, motorcycles, and bicycles and never had a helmet. One favorite activity was to head our bicycles down the steep road, Draper Drive, in front of Randolph’s house, take a sharp turn onto his gravel driveway, then hit a homemade ramp in his front yard and see how far we could fly. We did not always stick the landing, and I remember when Randolph broke his femur. I had to help carry him in the house when he came home from the hospital in a full body cast in the back of my parent’s station wagon. We had to turn him sideways to get him in the door and almost dropped him! He will not find this funny! Later, I competed in horse shows, learned to start horses, and learned to always get back on when bucked off. I was driving tractors by age 10 and had an actual driver’s license at age 14, the age at which I got my first two speeding tickets! I never had a curfew growing up and took full advantage of that! The 3 “Lees,” Ronnie, and James all played a lot of ball together, and James’ father was one of our coaches for years. One of our favorite pastimes was to put on actual boxing gloves and fight each other; yes, there were technical knockouts and real knockouts. We were all a little crazy. People could call us a lot of things, but one thing they could not say is that we were not tough (apology for the double negative). My toughness and my ability to fight this cancer come from those days, from working with horses, and from all the team sports in which I participated in high school.

So Lee Randolph, Ronnie, and James all showed up at my house, the evening before surgery, and spent time. We had been “brothers” since we were in diapers in the Goodlettsville First Baptist Church nursery. We always show up for each other in time of need or crisis, and there is no doubt that we would take a bullet for each other. As a matter of fact, Ronnie is an Ivy league educated long standing officer in the Marines and is one of those guys who would sacrifice for all of our freedoms. The boys just sat around and reminisced about the “good ole days.”  James always keeps us laughing, and continued to command the room like he always does, our ring leader. And then I got in the middle of the room as they all gathered around me. They laid their hands on me and we all hugged as they prayed over me. They asked for Father God to give me peace and strength and prayed for my healing if it be God’s will. I love those guys, and they know it. I was ready for surgery, which will be the next episode.

Answered Prayer

/ Dr. Lee Bryant / 18 Comments

When I left off, I had spent the weekend with my immediate family after learning that the lesion under my right thumbnail that had been present for a while was malignant melanoma. As a surgeon, I had performed the biopsy on myself. During that weekend, I came to peace with that diagnosis, accepted the Lord’s will to be done no matter what the outcome, experienced old hymns from childhood that would continue to comfort me, and was finally able to eat and sleep again.

Monday was to be a big day. My wife Kellee and I had spent the past couple of business days working on our affairs and planning for “worse case” scenarios. So, the first meeting of the day was with our personal attorney downtown to sign and finalize our updated will. Then, the rest of the day was dedicated to the first series of medical consultations and to starting the workup and staging process for my cancer.

I found myself back at the large academic medical center in town, where I had trained for 10 years (4 years of medical school and 6 years as a resident physician). But now, instead of being a caregiver, I was the patient. Becoming the patient was a somewhat humbling experience! After answering the medical questionnaires and filling out all the demographic information, I was asked to remove my clothing and put on a hospital gown. Before meeting with the first surgeon, I was escorted down the hall by a nurse to get a plain film (x-ray) of my thumb. I sat in a little waiting area with two other patients who also were wearing the same attire: hospital gown, underwear, and socks. It seemed surreal that just a few days ago I had been treating my own patients.

Over the course of the next several hours, I met with resident and attending physicians. I did receive the first bit of good news. The plain x-ray did not reveal that the distal phalanx, or bone of my thumb, was involved by any tumor as sometimes is the case when it has been present for so long. However, I did learn that I was going to need to undergo a partial amputation of my right thumb, likely back to the first joint if all the margins were clear. This was really no surprise to me, but the reality of being a right-handed surgeon was beginning to sink in, and my mind raced to all the possibilities and to whether I would be able to adapt very well or not.

That evening, I was scheduled for my first major round of imaging studies. I was to undergo an MRI scan of my right hand and of my brain. The imaging study of the brain would be used to evaluate for any distant metastases (distant spread) of tumor to my brain. Because of the multiple consultations and logistics, my imaging studies were delayed and rescheduled to be performed in the evening. It had already been a long day, but as the sun was setting, I walked with Kellee into an empty waiting room, late in the day, to embark on a 2-hour imaging session. I first underwent several series of imaging sequences, followed by intravenous access for contrast administration, and then had to finish up with more imaging sequences. The MRI technician was working late into the evening, and she was so compassionate, courteous, and professional. I shared with her how appreciative I was that she was willing to stay late and provide care for me. We were running late because of our appointments; however, the Radiologist, the receptionist, and this MRI technician all waited for me. I shared with her that I was a physician and surgeon, somewhat apprehensive about what the future might bring. I laid there and prayed for the solid two hours, wondering what the scanner was finding with all that loud knocking as it sliced through my brain. When it was all over, I got the fantastic news that my brain images were all clear…no evidence of brain lesions…answered prayer! I was moved to tears as I walked back to car with Kellee. We finally got a little good news. I saw the pronoun “we” because Kellee has been right there beside me every step of the way on this journey.

Dr. Bryant and wife Kellee

Next, two days later, I was scheduled for a whole-body PET/CT scan. This type of study is a complicated one. Certain types of human tissue have a high metabolic activity, and this can be measured by how much glucose is being taken up as fuel for cell division and growth. For this study, fluorodeoxyglucose, or FDG, is a radioactive tracer that is used. The radioactive isotope is attached to the glucose molecule so that it can be picked up on the imaging study. Tumors tend to have a high metabolic activity and can be identified by the PET scan. The activity on the PET scan is compared to any lesions that might be found on a standard CT scan, and this information can be very valuable in determining if there is distant spread from a primary tumor. First, an IV inserted into my arm, and then the FDG was administered. I then had a one hour wait to allow the radioactivity to spread throughout my whole body. After the waiting period, I then spent the next hour in the scanner, praying the whole time! Again, I just laid there wondering what the imaging study would find as it scanned my lungs, my liver, my bony skeleton, etc. Being a physician, I took the liberty of asking to speak to the interpreting Radiologist after the study, because the waiting is so tremendously difficult. The radiologist called me back into the reading room, and we reviewed the images together, which revealed that they were completely clear. Another answered prayer! I ran out through the waiting room, waving Kels to come with me, and began crying and praising Jesus loudly in the hallway of the hospital, a hallway I had walked so many times and for so many years as a medical student and later as a resident physician during my medical training. I was so emotional and filled with tears that I lost all my sense of direction, and simply asked for Kels to grab my hand and lead me to the car. Being on the other side, as a patient, has given me so much more of an emotional connection with my patients I now treat every day. And yes, as you follow along this journey with me, you will see how I have worked my way back to the medical office.

At this point, we had again received some great news, answer to our prayers, and we would continue to receive more good news. A peace began to fall over me and Kellee, a peace that only God could provide knowing that I was a surgeon who would soon undergo partial amputation of my thumb. We were learning how to live our lives just one day at a time and be happy in the present and in the presence of God.

Until the next post, I will leave you with some words by the pastor, theologian, and author, John Piper. He said, “No one ever said that they learned their deepest lessons of life, or had their sweetest encounters with God, on sunny days. People go deep with God when the drought comes. That is the way God designed it. Christ aims to be magnified in life most clearly by the way we experience Him in our losses. When everything in life is stripped away except God, and we trust him more because of it, this is gain, and He is glorified. “

Embracing My Diagnosis, My Family, My Faith

/ Dr. Lee Bryant / 8 Comments

As we left off, I had been notified by phone of my diagnosis of malignant melanoma, acral type, under my right thumbnail.   I received the call between operations and had to finish the last case.  When the documentation and family conference was finished, I headed straight home.  I called my wife Kellee on the way home, and we decided to determine a course of action together.

Lee and Kellee (with Baylor)
Alex, Brad, Bradley, Jack

We decided to tell our kids first. Let me tell you a little bit about my family. I have already mentioned my sweet wife Kellee, who is always there for everyone in our extended family; everyone who meets Kellee loves her! Our oldest child, Alex, just turned 30 years old. She married her high school sweetheart, Brad, in 2017, after they both graduated from Penn State University. Alex has a doctoral degree in physical therapy, is a practicing physical therapist, and is also a successful realtor. Brad started his professional career in the NFL for couple of years with the New York Giants, and is now a successful businessman and developer, who runs his own company. They have two little boys, my grandsons, Bradley and Jack. Our other child is Gray. He is currently in his 4th year of medical school and will soon be the next Dr. Bryant. He is a “gentle giant” with a great smile and compassionate heart, liked by everyone who meets him. His fiancée, Molly, is also in her last year of medical school, and she is as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside, with a passion to treat children. They will get married and graduate medical school together next Spring.

Gray and Molly

The day after I got my diagnosis, I first got the haircut mentioned in the last blog!  Then began a process through which I am sure many of my own head and neck cancer patients have walked, but I now had the experience of walking in their shoes.  I began notifying some other close friends and family.   I reached out to three men to whom I refer as my spiritual mentors:  Pastor Tom Gholson, of Brook Hollow Baptist Church, where I attend; Pastor Jack Foster, of West End Community Church; and Pastor Barry Smith, of Generation Changers Church.  All 3 have continued to walk with me faithfully on this cancer treatment journey. I reached out to my 2 close friends and cousin since childhood (Lee, Ronnie, and James) with whom I have always communicated frequently.   I reached out to my closest adult friends, Worrick and Dwight.   I reached out to one of the senior officers of our large multispecialty organization about the logistics of medical leave, and he shared his own melanoma story with me.   I had to think clearly and embrace the thought of needing to make sure my own affairs were in order.  I reached out to my long time attorney to make arrangements to update my will.  I did some research on where I stood as it relates to my life insurance and long-term disability insurance.   I had scheduled an appointment to meet my new Oncologist, and he was kind enough to discuss my case over the phone before I had even met him. He arranged for testing to be performed the following week to start the process of staging, a process where they determine whether a tumor is more localized or if there is metastatic spread to distant organs.  Considering the long presence of my pigmented lesion and this type of melanoma, there was good reason to believe that I could easily have stage III or IV disease with an poor prognosis.  An MRI of my brain would be performed along with a whole-body PET/CT scan.

Over those few days between my diagnosis and the first day of medical appointments and scans, there was a lot of emotional and spiritual anxiety.  For my own patients, I know the most difficult time can be the period between a diagnosis and the definitive treatment plan.   This is the period to which physicians like me refer to as the “workup,” where tests are performed, tumors are staged, prognoses are determined, and treatment plans are finalized.  This was an emotionally tough time for me, and I was having difficulty both eating and sleeping.  Gray and Molly came in for the weekend, and along with Alex, Brad, and the boys, we spent a lot of time together.  We just ate together and loved on each other. I shed a lot of tears, as the thought of not being able to a part of their lives until I reached a ripe old age continued to haunt me.

HOWEVER, at some point in the weekend, through much prayer, I came to a place in my heart that I could accept any outcome.   I sincerely achieved peace with my situation and perhaps the Holy Spirit descended upon me.   Suddenly my head began to be filled with old hymns from childhood every minute that I was alone and continued to do so for weeks.   I could recite these hymns almost verbatim.   Examples included “Holy Spirit, Breathe on Me” and “Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling.”  It was incredible how my thoughts were completely transformed, and that my head and heart became filled with thoughts of kindness, grace, forgiveness, mercy, and love as opposed to former selfish thoughts.  All the sudden, my large house, the pool, the boat, the status in my career, and the pursuit for increased productivity and income vanished from my mind.  I was truly set free in Christ.  These are the words I texted to many people who were reaching out to me.  “I am secure in my eternity.  If my time is short, then I will be in a better place with my heavenly Father.  If I have more time on earth, then I will try even harder to make all my decisions in life to be ones that honor Him.   I have been blessed on earth and have a strong family.  We are all good.  And I have never been one to back down from a fight, so I will fight cancer.”

I went on a spiritual journey the next few weeks. I was drawn even closer to all of our already big extended loving family (Kellee, Alex, Brad, Gray, Molly, my parents, Kellee’s parents, siblings, in laws, nieces, and nephews), and we all shared more verbally how much we loved each other. Pastor Jack Foster and I communicated daily, and he walked along beside me in this journey, along with many other people, including Pastor Tom Gholson. The hymns seemed to change each day, and I could vividly recall words that I had not heard in years. They gave me such peace every day when I was alone or could not sleep. Tests would follow the next week…and some answered prayer.