As we left off, I had been notified by phone of my diagnosis of malignant melanoma, acral type, under my right thumbnail.   I received the call between operations and had to finish the last case.  When the documentation and family conference was finished, I headed straight home.  I called my wife Kellee on the way home, and we decided to determine a course of action together.

We decided to tell our kids first. Let me tell you a little bit about my family. I have already mentioned my sweet wife Kellee, who is always there for everyone in our extended family; everyone who meets Kellee loves her! Our oldest child, Alex, just turned 30 years old. She married her high school sweetheart, Brad, in 2017, after they both graduated from Penn State University. Alex has a doctoral degree in physical therapy, is a practicing physical therapist, and is also a successful realtor. Brad started his professional career in the NFL for couple of years with the New York Giants, and is now a successful businessman and developer, who runs his own company. They have two little boys, my grandsons, Bradley and Jack. Our other child is Gray. He is currently in his 4^th year of medical school and will soon be the next Dr. Bryant. He is a “gentle giant” with a great smile and compassionate heart, liked by everyone who meets him. His fiancée, Molly, is also in her last year of medical school, and she is as pretty on the inside as she is on the outside, with a passion to treat children. They will get married and graduate medical school together next Spring.

The day after I got my diagnosis, I first got the haircut mentioned in the last blog!  Then began a process through which I am sure many of my own head and neck cancer patients have walked, but I now had the experience of walking in their shoes.  I began notifying some other close friends and family.   I reached out to three men to whom I refer as my spiritual mentors:  Pastor Tom Gholson, of Brook Hollow Baptist Church, where I attend; Pastor Jack Foster, of West End Community Church; and Pastor Barry Smith, of Generation Changers Church.  All 3 have continued to walk with me faithfully on this cancer treatment journey. I reached out to my 2 close friends and cousin since childhood (Lee, Ronnie, and James) with whom I have always communicated frequently.   I reached out to my closest adult friends, Worrick and Dwight.   I reached out to one of the senior officers of our large multispecialty organization about the logistics of medical leave, and he shared his own melanoma story with me.   I had to think clearly and embrace the thought of needing to make sure my own affairs were in order.  I reached out to my long time attorney to make arrangements to update my will.  I did some research on where I stood as it relates to my life insurance and long-term disability insurance.   I had scheduled an appointment to meet my new Oncologist, and he was kind enough to discuss my case over the phone before I had even met him. He arranged for testing to be performed the following week to start the process of staging, a process where they determine whether a tumor is more localized or if there is metastatic spread to distant organs.  Considering the long presence of my pigmented lesion and this type of melanoma, there was good reason to believe that I could easily have stage III or IV disease with an poor prognosis.  An MRI of my brain would be performed along with a whole-body PET/CT scan.

Over those few days between my diagnosis and the first day of medical appointments and scans, there was a lot of emotional and spiritual anxiety.  For my own patients, I know the most difficult time can be the period between a diagnosis and the definitive treatment plan.   This is the period to which physicians like me refer to as the “workup,” where tests are performed, tumors are staged, prognoses are determined, and treatment plans are finalized.  This was an emotionally tough time for me, and I was having difficulty both eating and sleeping.  Gray and Molly came in for the weekend, and along with Alex, Brad, and the boys, we spent a lot of time together.  We just ate together and loved on each other. I shed a lot of tears, as the thought of not being able to a part of their lives until I reached a ripe old age continued to haunt me.

HOWEVER, at some point in the weekend, through much prayer, I came to a place in my heart that I could accept any outcome.   I sincerely achieved peace with my situation and perhaps the Holy Spirit descended upon me.   Suddenly my head began to be filled with old hymns from childhood every minute that I was alone and continued to do so for weeks.   I could recite these hymns almost verbatim.   Examples included “Holy Spirit, Breathe on Me” and “Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling.”  It was incredible how my thoughts were completely transformed, and that my head and heart became filled with thoughts of kindness, grace, forgiveness, mercy, and love as opposed to former selfish thoughts.  All the sudden, my large house, the pool, the boat, the status in my career, and the pursuit for increased productivity and income vanished from my mind.  I was truly set free in Christ.  These are the words I texted to many people who were reaching out to me.  “I am secure in my eternity.  If my time is short, then I will be in a better place with my heavenly Father.  If I have more time on earth, then I will try even harder to make all my decisions in life to be ones that honor Him.   I have been blessed on earth and have a strong family.  We are all good.  And I have never been one to back down from a fight, so I will fight cancer.”

I went on a spiritual journey the next few weeks. I was drawn even closer to all of our already big extended loving family (Kellee, Alex, Brad, Gray, Molly, my parents, Kellee’s parents, siblings, in laws, nieces, and nephews), and we all shared more verbally how much we loved each other. Pastor Jack Foster and I communicated daily, and he walked along beside me in this journey, along with many other people, including Pastor Tom Gholson. The hymns seemed to change each day, and I could vividly recall words that I had not heard in years. They gave me such peace every day when I was alone or could not sleep. Tests would follow the next week…and some answered prayer.