As we left off, my medical diagnosis forced me to take a deep breath, slow down, and redirect how I spend my time. As I mentioned before, despite the medical treatment and the inability to work, I somehow developed a lot of joy and peace in my life.

As I continued to recover from the flu-like symptoms of my first infusion of Keytruda and as my thumb and axilla continued to heal, all before I had the ability to return to my medical office, I began a new daily routine. I found that exercise helped me to combat the fatigue from the Keytruda infusions, and I started my day with an hour long “prayer walk.” With my crazy schedule prior to my cancer diagnosis, I did not have this kind of time! I spent an hour a day, early in the morning, walking and intentionally praying for others, not for myself. Pastor Tom Gholson and Pastor Jack Foster had always talked about the power of prayer, but I never really slowed down enough to really spend many hours a week in prayer. As a matter of fact, on one of my walks, I stopped in front of Jack Foster’s house (August 22, 2021, to be exact) and bent down on one knee to pray for Jack and his beautiful wife, Jenny. It was a powerful moment, and there was a walker going by who must have thought I was a little off, and suddenly found a second wind and took off running away from me!

Secondly, I would then spend some time on our front porch with a daily devotional, and my relationship with God seemed to grow powerfully and more deeply. My quiet time in the Word would sometimes turn into 2-3 hours of reflecting on Scripture more deeply than ever. Many scriptures became more deeply imprinted in my mind, with some of my favorites including Luke 9:23-24, all of Romans 8, Psalm 119:65-72, and James 4:13-17.

Third, in addition to my spiritual well-being, I began to focus on some of the physical aspects that I could control- diet and exercise. As a physician and surgeon, I know what a difference that these activities can make not only in the healing process but also as a preventative measure. I will expound on these topics in a future blog.

As I recovered, I began to miss seeing my horses. My father, Grady Sr., and cousin, John Ricks, had kept up the daily work of feeding the horses and making sure they had a good supply of hay. John is a dear blessing in my life, and without him, we could not keep the farm running. So, the first day back on the farm was uplifting. As an ENT surgeon, we use a lot of technology and work with many companies that supply that technology in the OR. Many of the representatives for those companies spend countless hours in the operating room suite with us, and we get to know each other well. Michelle Miller works for a company that provides all types of stents designed to keep surgically created openings from stenosing back down. We both share a passion for horses and riding, and she has her own horse. Because I was unable to do any farm work, she volunteered to come out one day and help with the horses. She cleaned all my stalls, a term called “mucking,” and groomed all my horses. All I could do was watch, but she tacked up two of my horses and breezed them in the riding ring. She got to experience smooth gaited Tennessee walking horses for the first time and returning to the farm was another little victory for me!

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Kellee and I were developing a new life plan. This plan involved slowing down, allowing me time to do all the things I could control physically to give me my best shot at surviving and thriving despite my diagnosis, achieving financial freedom by downsizing our home and becoming debt free (got both home closings behind us), spending more time with our families, reconnecting with our friends, and doing more Kingdom work. This time was truly transformative, and I genuinely felt God’s presence more in my life. Although it is a continual struggle because I am human, my thoughts turned away from material things that really do not matter, and more toward thoughts of grace, kindness, forgiveness, and many other fruits of the Spirit. Pastor Jack communicated to me regularly that this transformation was palpable.

Pastor Jack sent me an article by Tim Keller, an American theologian and pastor of Redeemer Presbyterian Church. In the article, titled “Growing My Faith in the Face of Death,” Keller discusses how he intellectualized God for most of his pastoral career, but that a cancer diagnosis had taken him to a greater and deeper relationship with God, and enabled the process of sanctification in his life. His metaphor about how he and his wife now experience vacation really mirrored my current life circumstances. Keller’s wife loved going to the beach. He stated that prior to his cancer diagnosis, when on vacation, that his wife’s joy at the beach was stolen because each day she would lament that it was one more day closer to going back home. In addition, while he was there, he would be planning the whole time his next set of teachings or sermon series. After his cancer diagnosis, he and his wife experienced a change, and could just sit, hand in hand, and enjoy a beautiful sunset together…in that very moment…in God’s presence…without worrying about tomorrow. I have experienced the same transformation. My metaphor relates to a family photo taken at the beach from many years ago that has been on our dining room for years. I walked by it daily for over almost 20 years, yet I never really looked at it closely or acknowledged it. However, after reading Pastor Keller’s article on the front porch, after I walked inside, I actually looked at it for the first time in years. I stared at Kellee in the photo, and for the first time, I realized how beautiful she was in that picture. I experienced not just her outward beauty but also how she radiates her unconditional love for me and our family. I stood there for 10-15 minutes or so, weeping the whole time, with tears of joy for that moment, with tears of gratefulness for her putting up with me over the years, and finally with some tears of sadness that maybe I had missed other moments because I was too focused my earthly future, and not truly focused on Heavenly thoughts and what really matters. Please remember to take a deep breath today and feel God’s presence…today…right now…in the moment.

Peace of Christ to you this week! Next up…my second infusion.